The Return of Amanda

THE RETURN OF AMANDA

Here we go. Amanda is back.

She pops!

She sizzles!

Elizabeth Gracen is at the top of her form.

She is oh so very sexy, and very believable as the bane of poor Duncan’s existence. She will return often to delightfully plague him, refusing to let him take his Immortal problems too seriously. She’ll confuse him, tease him, amaze him, infuriate him, and love him.

Poor Duncan doesn’t stand a chance.

New Characters:

PALANCE — mortal, FBI agent who is a bit “dirty”.

WERNER — mortal, a business acquaintance, reneged on his promise to help MacLeod in pre-WWII Germany, suddenly turned into a patriot (of course, he kept Mac’s money).

HEINRICH VOSS — mortal, patron of the cabaret, provided Amanda with “engravings”.

RUTGER — mortal Gestapo cop with a pronounced scar on his face.


The Domino, a Cabaret in Berlin, 1936

Danger and intrigue—
Come free with the drinks.
And for your amusement—
A svelte little minx—
Will glide as she sings,
Undulating her hips,
Heinrich yearns to taste—
Those luscious red lips.

She is singing, “Hey, Mister,
I’m nobody’s sister,”
Heinrich wipes his damp brow,
He cannot resist her.
“Have you been a bad boy?”
As her fingers meander.
“Oh yes, very bad.”
Heinrich says to Amanda.

How bad has he been?
He hands over a box,
Stolen counterfeit plates—
To this sly little fox.
Such beautiful work,
His reward might come later,
But in walks the Gestapo—
And shoots down this traitor.

The piano’s the place—
She stashes the plates.
She ignores Heinrich’s body—
And quickly fixates—
On the Gestapo cop,
“Play something,” He looked—
Over her liberal assets,
And now he is hooked.

The Dojo—Present Day

Mac and Richie are fencing,
Face masks for protection,
They riposte and parry—
In every direction.
They are “Buzzed” by an Immie—
In full fencing gear,
Whom does he challenge?
Mac’s the one, that is clear.

In a minute or two—
The stranger’s unmanned,
Mac envelops his blade,
Snaps it out of his hand!
The stranger’s Amanda!
Duncan’s taken aback.
“You sure know how to treat—
A girl”....she tells Mac.

The Loft

“I like it.... It’s YOU!
Now the loft’s been critiqued.
Mac: “Don’t get too used to it”
She has him piqued.
“It’s been ages, MacLeod.”
“It was Paris, last year!
You were stealing that book,
Is your memory unclear?”

Short Flashback—Paris, 1992
(From The Lady and the Tiger)

She is hanging suspended—
From the museum ceiling.
Below her—the book—
She’s intent upon stealing.
She escapes with her prize—
Despite the alarm,
Love of grand larceny—
Accounts for her charm.

Back to the Loft

“What do you want?”
“Besides you, MacLeod?
I heard about Tessa—
And I’m not very proud—
Of the way that I treated—
Her...when we first met.
But, I know that she loved you,
Can’t I help you forget?”

She reclines on Mac’s bed—
With seductive allure.
She is ripe for the taking.
Is he tempted? For sure!
She asks what he’s thinking,
Expecting delight.
Mac replies, “I was wondering—
Where will you stay tonight?”

Amanda’s Hotel

“I booked this hotel room,
As a stand-by locality.
What happened to friendly—
Old-fashioned hospitality?”
Neither one is aware,
While engrossed in their banter,
Of two FBI agents—
Interested in Amanda.

“Mac, you always expect me—
To act so unethically.”
“I expect sharks to bite,
Don’t take it so personally.”
“Duncan, I like you,”
She craftily nears,
“Can’t we play house,
For a few dozen years?”

For the moment, she sees—
He’s immune to her wiles,
But there’s always tomorrow,
At that thought—she smiles.
The agents have ransacked—
Her room—no success!
Now they open the door,
To affect their egress.

As Amanda walks by them—
They attack her uncivilly.
Mac hears her cry out,
Jump-starting Scot chivalry.
He decks one, but the other—
Shoots him in the right arm.
“Let’s go!” For our Immies,
This hotel’s lost its charm.

They climb to the roof,
And evade observation—
By hiding in ducts—
Used for air ventilation.
“Who were they?” Mac winces,
“Mac.... I swear on Mom’s grave...”
“You don’t HAVE a mother!!!”
Can’t this vixen behave?

Waterfront Park

Mac: “What are they after?
Slipped your mind, I suppose.
Gold bars? Crown jewels?
Ancient artifacts? One of those?”
“If I was being chased—
Would I run straight to YOU?
“It would not be the first time,”
Oh, what she’s put him through!

Flashback—Berlin, 1936

Berlin has become—
A dangerous cesspit,
Anyone can get in,
Not so easy to exit.
Duncan needs travel papers—
For a physics professor—
Who must flee the country,
And its Nazi oppressor.

Mac meets up with Werner—
In the Club Domino.
Over drinks, they do business,
Then the Buzz hits... Oh! No!
What Mac does NOT need,
The pièce de résistance,
In slithers Amanda—
And she asks Mac to dance.

Mac is entranced by—
Her skimpy attire,
But he’s too busy now—
To do more than admire.
“There’s a man staring at you,
Long scar, real up tight.”
“Oh him! He’s a cop,
Bit of trouble last night.”

“It did not concern ME,
“Never does,” Mac’s sarcastic.
She learns where he’s staying—
By threats that are drastic,
“Tell me or I’ll scream!”
He opts for prevention.
To aid the professor—
He dares not draw attention.

Mac’s Hotel Room

Mac is with the professor,
Making sure his notes burn—
So the Nazis can’t read—
His equations and learn—
How to harness the atom—
And use it for bloodshed.
“The papers are nothing,
It is all in my head!”

While the papers are burning—
In bursts the Gestapo,
Mac percusses each one—
With a Kung Fu staccato,
The professor is awed—
By Mac’s chops and kicks,
Mac exclaims as they leave,
“Professor, THAT’S physics!”

Outside the Club Domino

Rutger waylays Amanda,
He’s the cop with the scar,
The one who gave Heinrich—
His last au revoir,
“How well did you know him?
Was he your lover?”
She knees his groin hard,
And dashes for cover.

Mac’s Hotel Room

As Mac leaves, there’s Amanda—
With an urgent request.
“Can I use your room?”
“Sure, be my guest.
I should warn you, Amanda—
The room service stinks!”
Then she sees the sprawled cops...
Yes, her plan has some kinks.

The Airport (That Night)

Near the runway Mac gets—
Travel papers from Werner.
“This ‘tourist’ that’s leaving—
Is on the front burner.
He must be important,
They are watching the borders.”
Mac asks, “Can we get—
A small plane, on your orders?”

“The plane is no problem,
But the Luftwaffe codes—
Will require real money,
And you MUST have those—
Or they’ll shoot you down.”
Mac: “Whatever it takes,
Money’s no object,
These are very high stakes.”

Next Day, At the Airport

Mac’s worst fears realized,
Werner betrays them!
“Your flight has been cancelled,”
The Gestapo waylays them.
Werner has swallowed—
The Reich’s propaganda.
As Mac takes this in—
Up pops Amanda!

“Don’t leave me! They’ll kill me!”
She tells HALF the tale.
The counterfeit plates?
A forgotten detail!
She helps Mac disarm them,
Makes a careful assessment,
Slugs Werner herself,
(She protects her investment).

The plane seats but two,
No room for a third,
But she begs and she pleads,
She can fly this small bird.
Mac gives her the plane—
And the codes, the whole drill,
She: “I’ll never forget this!”
MacLeod: “Yes, you will!”

The Loft, Back in the Present Day

“Those guys from the hotel,
Are Watchers, you think?”
“I don’t know, Amanda.”
His manner’s succinct.
“Sometimes they just watch,
And sometimes they kill us,”
“But how’ll we prepare—
When the Buzz doesn’t tell us?”

“They all have tattoos,”
“Where are these tattoos?”
She uncovers one shoulder,
For him to peruse.
“Not there,” he is smiling,
She reveals more smooth skin.
“Here?” “No, not there,”
Slowly drawing him in.

“Are they here?” Her hand deftly—
Tickles his chest.
“No. (Gasp) They are.... here,”
Gently kissing her wrist.
She caresses his head—
Between loving hands,
They kiss, long and deeply,
As their passion demands.

Later

She: “Why are you smiling?”
“Why can’t I just smile?”
I am happy; we’re safe,
I made love for a while—
To a scheming, deceitful,
(It’s not a mystery)
Devious...most beautiful.
Woman in history.”

Dojo, The Next Day

Richie’s concerned,
Mac refuses to see—
Amanda spells TROUBLE!
With a capital “T.”
Although Mac stills mourns—
Very deeply for Tess,
He’s an obvious sucker—
For this wily temptress.

Mac finds Rich amusing—
In his role of protector,
“She’s a crook, Mac—watch out!
(As if Mac won’t suspect her).
In the loft—No Amanda!
Mac looks again hard,
She has run off to shop—
With MacLeod’s credit card.

A Jewelry Shop

Mac follows her trail—
Left by credit receipts—
To a jewelry shop—
Where Amanda now meets—
With an expert engraver—
Who can work on those plates,
All she needs him to do—
Is to alter the dates.

Mac has not one clue—
Why Amanda is there.
No time to find out,
‘Cause he spots the same pair—
That were in the hotel.
Here they come toward the store,
Mac grabs for Amanda,
Pulls her out the back door.

Mac hides in the alley—
And ambushes one.
His skill separates—
This clown from his gun.
Knocked cold on the pavement,
Mac checks—no tattoo!
Just an FBI shield,
What’s Amanda into???

Inside the store—
Palance asks the engraver,
“What did she want?
Is that all you gave her?
Who was that guy with her?
What is his game?”
“Never saw him before,
But MacLeod is his name.”

The Loft

Mac: “Is this about diamonds?
And now...FBI?
Hot on your trail...
I want to know...Why?”
“I can answer that!”
Agent Palance, now stating.
He had let himself in—
To the loft, and was waiting.

“Counterfeit plates—
From before World War II,
They will print perfect hundreds,
But the dates are not new.
Mac turns to Amanda,
Angry sparks in his eyes,
As he says often to her—
“Why am I not surprised?”

Palance is not finished,
“I have video tape,
Showing you, with my partner—
Just before your escape.
He followed behind you,
You killed him outside,
There is no place on earth—
A cop-killer can hide!”

So, this is the set-up:
In exchange for the plates,
He will give Mac the video,
They all get clean slates—
Except the dead cop,
But he won’t complain.
Mac agrees, “State Street Bridge.
We’ll seal the bargain.”

“I worked HARD for those plates!”
Amanda is furious!
But Mac knows her claim—
Like the false plates, is spurious.
He has thought of a plan,
But can’t do it alone,
He scowls at Amanda,
Then gets Rich on the phone.

The State Street Bridge, Two Hours Later

“Mac, I tried to go straight,
But, it was such a bore,
When I ran out of money—
I thought I’d print more.
Then she sees the incredulous—
Look on Mac’s face.
“Well, you have to admit—
My heart’s in the right place!”

Showtime has arrived,
Tall they stand, side by side,
As Palance drives up—
They greet him clear-eyed.
They effect the exchange,
The tape goes to Mac,
Palance opens the plates,
And Ben Franklin smiles back.

“We won’t see you again,”
Mac asserts, “That’s the deal.”
“You are right about that.”
But Palance is a heel.
He acts true to form,
Shooting both of them down,
Their bodies hit water,
Left to bleed while they drown.

The Shore, A Short Time Later,

MacLeod pulls Amanda—
Out of the bay,
He kisses her face,
So exhausted are they—
They barely can move—
Until Richie arrives,
“Got it all here on tape!”
They exchange some high fives.

The Loft, Later

On TV, they watch Palance—
Led away in disgrace,
The videotape was—
Enough, (Plus the plates).
Richie’s come to respect—
Amanda’s odd style,
“It took guts, what you did,”
He is kissed with a smile.

Duncan looks at Amanda.
It is time, she must leave.
She tries one more time—
With her heart on her sleeve,
“Can’t we play house,
For about eighty years?”
“Now is not the right time,”
But his gloom disappears.

“We’ll always have Paris,”
She says with a grin,
Mac: “And Rome...and Tulsa.”
She’s meant much to him.
“I’ve a bus to catch, Mac,”
“Amanda,” he pleads,
Won’t it be there tomorrow?”
“True,” she concedes.

Peace, Emit
© 2001-2003

Under the Kilt from Highlander: The Official Site:

David Abramowitz, Creative Consultant
“Amanda is always wonderful. What can you say about Amanda? We knew we had magic, we knew we had sex appeal, she was wonderful.”

Ken Gord, Producer
“My introduction to Elizabeth Gracen, who was wonderful as Amanda. And this was an impressive job by Steve Geaghan of turning Vancouver into wartime Berlin. And I think something that many people don't know is that the lyrics to the song Amanda sang, ‘Nobody's Sister’ were written by my wife, Eva.”


Below you will find Amanda’s spot on homage to Marlene Dietrich in her rendition of “Nobody’s Sister” written by Eva LaPierre, producer Ken Gord’s wife.

Nobody’s Sister

Words and music by Eva LaPierre

When you first saw me
You thought you could use me
Strut me up and down the Strasse
Cheat on me, abuse me
Well Mister, the tables have turned
You’ve fallen under my spell
I get to wear the crown
That you reserved for yourself.

Hey, Mister
I’m nobody’s sister
Leave Berlin while you can
You thought you filled the bill
But I need a real man.

Your stories were charming
And your suits were Seville
You dance like the Kaiser himself
You gave me a thrill
Strut your stuff somewhere else, Mac
This girl is busy today
The boys are lined up around the block
To all the boys I say

Hey, Mister
I’m nobody’s sister
Leave Berlin while you can
You thought you filled the bill
But I need a real man.

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