This episode is as good as Highlander gets. Methos is back, still masquerading as nerdy, mild—mannered Watcher, Adam Pierson. He is introduced to Richie. Interesting chemistry there.
Richie has some torrid love scenes with Mac’s old Immortal flame, Kristin. Mac isn’t jealous because he’s been there, done that, and knows the dazzling, seductive, Kristin for what she is—a possessive, jealous, highly dangerous ticking bomb.
In addition, of course...there is the infamous bathtub scene. Poor naked Duncan, trying to keep his Scottish dignity intact while dripping wet.
New Characters:
KRISTIN — A beautiful but insecure Immortal, seduces Duncan when he is only 68 years old, a mere babe. He doesn’t put up much of a fight. She teaches him how to be a gentleman, then refuses to let him go. The former he appreciates (albeit later in his life), the latter...he cannot accept.
MARIA ALCOBAR — Richie’s foster sister (Her mother took him in). He does her a favor by accompanying her to Kristin’s modeling agency.
LOUISE BARTON — Kristin hired her to paint MacLeod’s portrait, but she and Mac fall in love.
Flashback, Normandy, 1659
The Forest
Mac’s riding along,
Feeling peaceful indeed,
Pondering the English—
He’s just learned to read.
In his 50’s he learned—
To read Latin, Italian
He’s now quoting Shakespeare—
To his trusty stallion.
Gunshots! He knows—
What trouble they mean.
“Not again!” Duncan groans—
As he speeds to the scene.
Robbery in progress!
A coach stopped, surrounded.
When they shoot Mac down,
His fury’s compounded.
He feels the old Buzz,
From the coach, safe inside
Behind a red curtain.
An Immortal does hide.
Though wounded, outnumbered—
He defeats all resistance.
To the Immie inside,
“I’d welcome assistance!”
When the thieves are dispatched,
Mac strides to the coach,
“Why didn’t you use—
Your sword?” In reproach.
From inside, a blade—
Is thrust at his throat,
Not a man, but a lady—
And a beauty of note.
She steps from the coach,
MacLeod’s at her mercy,
“I could use it now—
But then...” coos this Circe,
“I couldn’t do this...”
On his mouth plants a kiss,
He returns it in kind,
With aroused eagerness.
Present Day, Kristin’s Modeling Agency
Rich came along—
To boost her morale,
Maria is nervous—
And she’s a good pal.
To model for Kristin—
Is her life—long quest
Her interview’s set.
Will she pass the test?
Rich reassures her,
Of the crop, she’s the cream,
Then he senses the Buzz,
And out glides a dream.
Kristin! She’s gorgeous!
Richie’s hormones rev up,
He looks in her eyes,
Like a meek little pup.
She fixes poor Rich—
With a come—hither stare,
If she offered him Hell,
He would follow her there.
He feels her allure—
He does not realize...
Once Duncan was snared—
By those same tempting eyes.
She signs up Maria,
But that’s just foreplay.
Her target is Richie.
And she’s quick to say—
When she observes promise—
She wants to explore it,
“Whenever you want.”
Richie hints he’d adore it.
The Loft
MacLeod studies samples—
Paint colors, he’ll choose.
To paint his new house,
Which ones should he use?
A Buzz, then a knock,
An Immortal’s come by,
“Candygram!” calls Methos,
The very old guy.
They banter a bit,
Methos sits down,
But why has he come?
“Kristin’s in town.
I thought you should know.”
“Now I know...but that’s past.”
“With a woman like Kristin,
The memories last.”
Flashback, Normandy, 1659
Kristin’s Château
In the tub, he’s relaxed,
Half asleep as he soaks.
Her voice makes him start,
He’s awake, almost chokes,
“Where are my clothes?”
He is naked and bare.
“I had them burned.”
“BURNED? What will I wear?”
Kristin smiles sweetly,
“Who said you were going?”
“I go where I like!”
Her glance is all knowing.
“These suit you better,
Yours were covered with mire,”
Holding lace covered silk,
“These are gentlemen’s attire.”
“Hand them over...and leave.”
The Highlander’s shy.
“Come and get them.” she taunts
With a gleam in her eye.
“Don’t think I won’t!”
He roars in defiance.
“I’m hoping you will.”
He steps out, in compliance.
She is duly impressed,
“Oh, I can work with you”
She scans his whole frame.
Very nicely, he’ll do.
He grabs the fine clothes,
Makes a snide reference—
To her shameless behavior—
And her choice of comments.
Later, he’s dressed,
Gussied up in great style,
The silks and the laces—
Evoke a thin smile.
These are nice, but his rags—
Served him well, met his needs,
She’s sure that they did,
Now he’ll go where she leads.
“I’ll teach you the art—
Of a gentleman’s breed,
He scoffs at her offer,
“You know, I can read.”
“I’m sure that you can,
But her fingers are leading—
Up under his clothes,
Learning’s much more than reading.”
The Loft
Mac said it was over.
Methos won’t contradict him.
Yet, over a beer—
He’ll divulge her next victim.
“Your friend, Richie Ryan,
They’ve only just met.”
“Rich didn’t tell me.”
“He’s not left bed yet.”
Kristin’s Place
Rich still is in bed,
Copulating with Kristin,
Over and under...
And sideways, they’re twistin’.
She’s brought him to places,
He’d yet to discover.
“Should we do this again?”
“Oh, yes!” What a lover!
“Not now,” she demurs
“Later. I’ll see ya,”
Suddenly he remembers—
He must get Maria.
“You’re good friends?” she asks...
So innocently.
“Her mom took me in,
She’s a sister to me.”
Street Outside Kristin’s Place
They leave hand in hand.
Rich wearing a grin,
She gives him a kiss,
What a great mood he’s in.
“Parting is such—
Sweet sorrow,” she emotes
Maybe Mac taught her—
Shakespearean quotes.
When Richie rolls off—
On his two—wheeled machine,
Kristin slides into—
Her plush limousine.
Mac’s T—Bird pulls up—
Right behind, parks in place.
After all of these years,
They stand face to face.
He bangs on her window,
When she rolls it down,
He’s transported back,
When she wore a silk gown.
Mac wore silk as well,
Never feeling at ease,
But she gave him pleasure,
And he tried to please.
Flashback, Normandy, 1659—1660
Kristin’s Château
Kristin works hard—
On this Highland “barbarian.”
Her manner...once sweet,
Now authoritarian.
To Mac...it’s a waste,
He begs... “Kristin stop.”
He doesn’t enjoy—
Turning into a fop
“These wines and fine clothes—
Are useless, mere charm.
They’ll not change my heart—
Or improve my sword arm.
This sham is not me.”
Kristin pouts, acts contrite.
She lures him to bed,
Vowing, “I’ll make it right.”
She decides that the way—
To resolve this impasse—
Is to wear his clan tartan,
“I’m a true highland lass.”
“That’s not the answer,”
Mac pleads from his heart,
She ignores his distress...
“Wait! Here’s the best part!”
“I’ve commissioned a portrait—
By renowned Louise Barton,
Forever, I’ll keep you,
We’ll never be partin’
You shall never leave me!”
MacLeod feels a chill,
He’ll not be a prisoner—
To this woman’s will.
Street Outside Kristin’s Place
“Did you miss me? She asks,
MacLeod pulls away,
“Are you jealous?” she taunts
As he keeps her at bay.
“Leave Richie ALONE!”
“Or what?” she exclaims.
“You’ll kill me?” Is that—
How you deal with old flames?”
Mac holds his rage,
As he stalks to the car.
Methos sat quietly—
Watching them spar.
“Round One to Kristin!”
Makes Mac feel so bad
Her sights are on Rich—
Who’s one giant gonad.
The Dojo
Duncan works out—
With power and vim
His katana appears—
To be part of him.
When Methos comes by,
He asks, “May I see it?”
My hands have been washed,
I guarantee it.”
Mac thinks for a second,
But he trusts the old goat,
He regrets it at once,
When the sword’s at his throat,
Methos backs Duncan—
Up to a wall.
MacLeod is now nervous,
Doesn’t like this at all.
“How have you lived—
So long?” Methos wonders.
“Losing your weapon—
The greatest of blunders.
You’re better than she is—
But can’t seem to do it,
One of these days,
She’ll beat you to it.”
“She’ll cut off your head,
That’s what she will do.”
Mac says, “She may stop—
To gloat, just like you.”
He shoves Methos down,
Right on his posterior,
Grabs a sword off the wall,
“Let’s see who’s superior!”
They begin to exchange—
Sword strokes, repartee,
“Do you know,” MacLeod asks—
“What she was to me?”
“Now she’s a killer!”
(All Methos can say)
Mac thinks...Wasn’t she—
Always that way?
Flashback, Normandy, 1659—1660
Kristin’s Château
Kristin’s displeased—
With Louise’s impression.
Her Highlander prince—
Wears a doleful expression,
And the portrait has taken—
Much too long to paint.
“I paint what I see,”
Says Louise, with restraint.
“How can he help—
But be happy?” smirks Kristin.
“When he has somebody—
Like me,” she’s insistin,’
But later we learn—
That Louise has Mac’s heart.
When the portrait’s completed,
He and Kristin will part.
When Duncan tells Kristin—
Of his new affection,
She flies in a rage.
She will NOT brook rejection!
“You were NOTHING! I made you—
All that you are,
You can not leave me!”
Then she goes too far.
She goes for his head!
He’s quick to disarm her.
Although he has cause—
He still cannot harm her.
After he’s gone,
His portrait...she slashes!
His traitorous flesh—
Now savaged with gashes.
The Dojo
Duncan and Methos—
Are clashing with zeal,
When Richie walks in,
“This isn’t for real?”
Methos looks near—
To decapitation.
“Just making a point.”
Is Mac’s explanation.
“Adam Pierson,” to Richie
Methos says, a bit shyly.
“And you...are someone—
That MacLeod praises highly.”
Richie is pleased,
To Mac, he speaks low,
“This woman I met....”
“Yes, Kristin...I know.”
Richie’s amazed,
Is Mac holding out?
He’s itching to know—
What’s this all about?
Hoping Duncan’s advice—
Will have some effect.
Methos ponders his skills—
With increasing respect.
The Loft
Mac strives to get through—
So Richie can see...
What a dangerous enemy—
Kristin can be.
He’s hoping that Rich—
Will rely on his trust,
But Richie is driven—
By old—fashioned lust.
Rich asks “Adam Pierson”—
To be his advisor.
“Doesn’t it bug you?
Mac’s older and wiser.”
“Adam” nods sagely,
His wisdom employing,
“I see where it might—
Get slightly annoying.”
Richie leaves angry,
Mac’s advice he won’t take.
Methos suggests—
“Let him make his mistake,
Give him some room.”
“And if that gets him killed?”
Mac can’t turn away,
Kristin’s too skilled.
Open Air Photo Shoot
Mac pulls Rich aside,
“There are times I’ve been wrong,
This time I’m right.”
Rich’s come—back is strong,
“You’re jealous because—
She prefers me to you.”
Kristin looks on,
Enjoying the view.
Mac blurts, “You’re a fool!”
Richie’s answer to this...
He grabs his new love,
And gives her a kiss!
Mac can’t overcome—
Richie’s testosterone.
He leaves in frustration,
“You’re on your own!”
MacLeod’s New House
“This must be like raising—
Young kids,” Methos gibes
“You do all you can,
Then they live their own lives.”
“What else could I do?
I gave it my best.”
“What you could do,
Is tell him the rest.”
Flashback, Kristin’s Château
Across the great lawn,
Mac sprints toward the lake,
“Oh NO!” he cries out,
Praying there’s a mistake.
Louise has been drowned!
He can only lament,
While cradling her body.
This was no accident!
Kristin’s Boudoir
“You hated ME...
So you killed Louise!”
“How could you think ME—
Such a monster?” she pleads
“I never could do—
Such a horrible thing.
I LOVE YOU!” Her words—
Have a cold hollow ring.
She offers her head,
Knowing he will not take it,
He lives by a code,
And he will not break it.
He hopes when she dies,
The sword won’t be his
But deep in his heart,
He knows what she is.
MacLeod’s New House
“If she’d been a man,
She would have been dead.
Your chivalrous code—
Protected her head.”
They’re painting the porch—
White like a snowfall
“Would you rather I had—
No honor at all?”
“Your number one aim—
Must be to survive.
It’s five thousand years—
And I’ve stayed alive—
By thinking of no one,
Letting no one get close.”
“You could’ve fooled me,”
Grinning, Mac paints his nose.
Dockside
Maria can’t wait—
To tell Rich her news...
A half—million dollars!
A Martinique cruise!
An offer’s been made—
To model chic jeans,
She soon may become—
One of modeling’s queens!
“But,” pouts Maria
“There is one small hitch.
They won’t work with Kristin.”
“Don’t worry,” calms Rich.
“I’ll handle Kristin.”
He’ll use his persuasion.
Later, at dinner,
The perfect occasion.
Kristin’s Office
“NOBODY leaves me!”
Her favorite mantra,
She will not abide—
A desire that’s contra.
“She owes me!” Roars Kristin,
“And you owe me too!
I hired her only—
Because I liked you!”
“You’re sleeping with her,
Don’t pretend it’s not true!”
Rich finally sees...
“Mac was right about you!”
To her twisted mind,
This is too mortifying,
She offers him sex,
But Rich is not buying.
Her neurosis revealed,
The pathology’s clear,
Angered, Rich turns away,
But her sword’s lying near.
“Nobody leaves me!”
She runs Richie through!
He’s dying and knows it,
Only one thing to do.
He leaps though the window,
The building’s high rise.
From the top floor he falls.
Crashes and dies.
Of course, he will suffer—
Bones broken, contusions.
But he’ll go back to Mac—
Minus illusions.
The Loft
“You dump her, then let her—
Stab you from behind?
The visually challenged—
Being led by the blind!”
“Adam Pierson” is blunt.
Richie’s bubble has burst.
“Where’s Kristin now?”
MacLeod fears the worst.
“Do you think, worries Rich—
That she’ll come for my head?”
“No...she’ll hurt someone—
You care for instead.”
“Maria!” Rich panics,
“Kristin will get her!”
He’s off to Maria’s,
But Duncan knows better.
Kristin’s Home
Mac knew what she’d try,
Her history had taught him,
He’s brought along Methos,
Perhaps to support him?
Maria’s succumbed—
To doctored champagne,
Kristin has planned—
She will not wake again.
“Too bad, “she’ll bemoan—
When she cries to the press,
“She OD’d and drowned,
An unfortunate mess.
Depression is common—
In this line of work.”
Later, in private—
A victory smirk.
Maria is floating—
Face down in the pool.
When Duncan appears,
Kristin stays cool.
“Where’s Maria!” he roars,
“How should I know?”
The words she now speaks—
Echo those long ago.
“I could never hurt you—
Or her,” she replies
“I LOVE you—I’ve always—
Loved YOU,” Kristin cries
“How could you think ME—
Such a monster?” Reprise—
Exactly the words,
After she killed Louise.
“Because you... are.”
MacLeod is no fool,
Methos follows his eyes—
And runs to the pool.
They pull out Maria,
Her face is so white,
Mac gives mouth—to—mouth,
Soon she’ll be all right.
Mac leaves her with Methos,
Looks down toward the beach,
Where Kristin attempts—
To flee out of reach.
“Why, Kristin?” he asks.
Knowing she cannot give—
An answer that proves—
She’s entitled to live.
She’s desperate now—
Reverts to old guiles
Offers her body,
But he’s wise to her wiles.
“Then die!” she attacks,
Her sword in her hand,
No match for him,
She’s thrown in the sand.
Twice Duncan tries,
Twice he stops short,
He cannot take her head,
All he does is exhort:
“Stay far away—
From me and my friends.”
Again, he will leave her—
To her own ends.
Methos walks forward
Her sword’s in the sand.
He’ll challenge her now...
“Pick it up!” his demand
“Who are you?” Kristin asks
With steady delivery...
He says, “Someone born—
Long before chivalry.”
He and Mac exchange looks,
Methos sees it’s okay,
He takes Kristin’s head,
Then MacLeod looks away,
He cannot watch—
The explosive result,
This Quickening’s special,
And for Mac...difficult.
The Loft
Mac’s choosing colors,
Asking Richie’s critique
Richie’s heard from Maria,
She loves Martinique,
They exchange playful digs,
Till “Adam” comes by,
Although he’s brought beer,
Richie feels he must fly.
Now Methos and Mac—
Have a nice heart—to—heart,
Both acknowledge MacLeod—
From his code won’t depart.
“That’s who I am,”
Says MacLeod solidly,
“Well I guess,” says the ancient—
Someone has to be.”
They chat for a while,
Metaphysical theories,
Then more mundane issues,
“For the house?” MacLeod queries,
Holding samples of colors,
“What do you think?”
“Get someone in.”
Says old guy, with a wink.
Peace, Emit
© 2002
Under the Kilt from Highlander: the Official Site:
David Abramowitz, Creative Consultant
"Even though we killed her character, Ann Turkel really wanted to come back and do the show again."
Don Paonessa, Creative Consultant, Post Production
"Paolo Barzman directed. We did a couple of interesting transitions in this show. We were in the present and panned across the shot and into frame came a painting and we did a kind of wipe and we brought the painting in and then came off the painting and we were in the past. Also, this is the one where Duncan stands up in the tub and shows his bum."
Ken Gord, Producer
"I liked Ann Turkel, she tells good stories."
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