.......this needs a little explanation. Here goes: I started to write a poem about Richie, set to the tune of Rod Stewart’s “Forever Young.” Now, I love “Forever Young”, it always makes me cry ’cause I think of my wonderful three kids. The poem got sad, thinking of Richie, gone, forever young, etc., and writing it made me feel miserable. So—I trashed it. Finito. The End. I still wanted to write something but it had to be funny. I thought of the crossover Round Robin topics we were discussing. That thought lead to cross-dressing (don’t ask me why my mind went there.) I remembered George Hamilton in Zorro, The Gay Blade, and this shmooshed together with HL in my demented psyche. Now, who in the HL universe would be a cross-dresser? Not Duncan! Heaven forfend! My twisted mind finally came up with the perfect answer. The Four Horsemen. Of course. Perfect. Now, I know cross-dressers are not necessarily gay (in fact most are heterosexual) and—I sincerely hope I don’t offend anyone out there, but here is my version of “The Four Horsies”. This is sung to the tune of Rodgers and Hammerstein’s “Oklahoma!” from the musical of the same name. 1. Oh! Four Horsies! See us prancing gaily down the plain Wearing stylish clothes, And panty hose, With parasols to shield us from the rain. Oh! Four Horsies! We have pink, silk ribbons in our hair And our curls are fluffed Armpits powder puffed Chic understatement with a flair! We know we shouldn’t dress like our Aunties! But, my dear, you don’t get crotch rash from silk panties. And when we say: Giddyap! Our horsies will obey Giddyap, we’re only sayin’ You’re doin’ fine little horsies! Four Horsies, OK! 2. Oh! Four Horsies! We must wipe our swords so squeaky clean So if cut we must, the blades won’t rust Making ugly pockmarks on the sheen. Oh! Four Horsies! See the cute Gucci pumps upon our feet, With scarves by Hermes Worn à la Burmese A spritz of Poison leaves us sweet. Our makeup is every shade and hue, And Methos is a vision painted blue. So when we say: Giddyap! Our horsies will obey Giddyap, we’re only sayin’ You’re doin’ fine little horsies! Four Horsies, OK! OK Kronos, OK Methos, OK Caspian OK Silas Four Horsies, OK! When things get this silly, it is time for me to retire. Peace, Emit © 2001 Home