The Princess Bride
Soundclips from the Movie (1987)

Starring Cary Elwes, Robin Wright, Chris Sarandon, Mandy Patinkin, André the Giant, Carole Cane, Billy Crystal, Peter Falk, Fred Savage

Get it at Amazon.com, Barnes and Noble or CDNow.com.

I made these clips myself, please don't use them for anything other than personal use on your computer. Thanks.

Files are on the large side because of the better quality of recording.

Disclaimer: clips are available for enjoyment only, no copyright infringement intended, no money is made from this site.

Princess Bride Sound Scheme - .zip file with sounds for a few Windows operations. (685kb total)

Got any sports in it?
Are you kidding? Fencing, fighting, torture, revenge, giants, monsters, chases, escapes, true love, miracles.
Doesn't sound too bad, I'll try and stay awake.
Oh, thank you very much, that's very nice. Your vote of confidence is overwhelming. - Grandson, Grandfather (511kb)

As you wish. - Westley (22kb)

That day she was amazed to discover that when he was saying 'As you wish', what he meant was 'I love you'. - Grandfather (151kb)

Hear this now.....I will always come for you. - Westley (102kb)

This is true love, you think this happens every day? - Westley (107kb)

Murdered by pirates is good. - Grandson (38kb)

I've hired you to help me start a war; it's a prestigious line of work, with a long and glorious tradition. - Vizzini (140kb)

I just don't think it's right, killing an innocent girl.
Am I going mad, or did the word 'think' escape your lips? You were not hired for your brains you hippopotamic land mass. - Fezzik, Vizzini (264kb)

I agree with Fezzik.
Ah! The sot has spoken! What happens to her is not truly your concern. I will kill her, and remmber this - never forget this - when I found you, you were so slobbering drunk you couldn't buy brandy! - Inigo Montoya, Vizzini (320kb)

And you! Friendless, brainless, helpless, hopeless - do you want me to send you back to where you were, unemployed, in Greenland!? - Vizzini (277kb)

Vizzini, he can fuss.
Fuss, fuss, I think he like to scream at us.
Probably he means no harm.
He is very, very short on charm.
You have a great gift for rhyme.
Yes, yes, some of the time.
Enough of that.
Fezzik, are there rocks ahead?
If there are, we'll all be dead!
No more rhymes now, I mean it!
Anybody want a peanut?
Dyaaaaggghhh! - Inigo, Fezzik, Vizzini (795kb)
Same in mp3 format (432kb)

Of all the necks on this boat, Highness, the one you should be worrying about is your own. - Vizzini (108kb)

Stop doing that, we can all relax, it's almost over.
You are sure nobody's follow us?
As I told you, it would be absolutely, totally and in all other ways inconceivable. No one in Guilder knows what we have done, and no one in Florin could have gotten here so fast.... Out of curiosity, why do you ask?
No reason, it's only, I just happened to look back and somezing is there. - Vizzini, Inigo (544kb)

Probably some local fisherman out for a pleasure cruise at night...through eel infested waters. - Vizzini (129kb)

I suppose you think you're brave, don't you?
Only compared to some. - Vizzini, Buttercup (92kb)

Look! He's right on top of us! I wonder if he's using the same wind we are using? Whoever he is, he's too late. See! - Inigo, Vizzini (195kb)

The Cliffs of Insanity! Hurry up, move the thing....and that other thing! - Vizzini (183kb)

The Cliffs of Insanity! - Vizzinie (49kb)

You were supposed to be this colossus; you were this great legendary thing, and yet he gains!
Well, I'm carrying three people, and he's got only himself.
I do not accept excuses, I'm just going to have to find myself a new giant, that's all.
Don't say that Vizzini, please. - Vizzini, Fezzik (344kb)

Inconceivable! - Vizzini (32kb)

You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means. - Inigo (81kb)

Oh have it your way! - Vizzini (32kb)

You be careful; people in masks cannot be trusted. - Fezzik (65kb)

I'm waitiinngg. - Vizzini (33kb)

I do not suppose you coulda speed things up? - Inigo (38kb)

I have got some rope up here, but I do not think you would accept my help since I am only waiting around to kill you.
That does put a damper on our relationship. - Inigo, Man in Black (200kb)

I promise I will not kill you until you reach the top.
That's very comforting, but I'm afraid you'll just have to wait.
I hate waiting. - Inigo, Man in Black (188kb)

I swear on the sword of my father, Domingo Montoya, you will reach the top alive.
Throw me the rope. - Inigo, Man in Black (166kb)

You seem a decent fellow, I hate to kill you.
You seem a decent fellow, I hate to die. - Inigo, Man in Black (118kb)

You are wonderful! - Inigo (27kb)

I admit it, you are better than I am.
Then why are you smiling?
Because I know something you don't know.
And what is that?
I am not left handed! - Inigo, Man in Black (170kb)

There's something I ought to tell you.
Tell me.
I'm not left handed either. - Man in Black, Inigo (102kb)

Who are you?
No one of consequence.
I must know!
Get used to disappointment. - Inigo, Man in Black (140kb)

Which way's my way?
Pick up one of those rocks, get behind the boulder; in a few minutes the Man in Black will come running around the bend, the minute his head is in view, hit it with the rock!
My way's not very sportsmanlike. - Fezzik, Vizzini (355kb)

You'll put down your rock and I'll put down my sword and we'll try and kill each other like civilized people?
I could kill you now. - Man in Black, Fezzik (129kb)

Oh no, it's just they're terribly comfortable. I think everyone will be wearing them in the future. - Man in Black (75kb)

I do not envy you the headache you will have when you awake. In the meantime, rest well....and dream of large women. - Man in Black (161kb)

Let me put it this way...hav eyou ever heard of Plato, Aristole, Socrates?
Yes.
Morons.
Really? In that case I challenge you to a battle of wits.
For the princess? ... To the death? ... I accept! - Vizzini, Man in Black (376kb)

Inhale this, but do not touch.
sniff I smell nothing.
What you do not smell is called iocane powder. It is odorless, tasteless, dissolves instantly in liquid, and is among the more deadly poisons known to man.
Hmm. - Man in Black, Vizzini (306kb)

All right, where is the poison? The battle of wits has begun; it ends when you decide and we both drink, and find out who is right and who is dead. - Man in Black (215kb)

But it's so simple; all I have to do is divine from what I know of you....are you the sort of man who would put the poison in his own goblet or his enemy's? Now, a clever man would put the poison into his own goblet, because he would know only a great fool would reach for what he was given. I'm not a great fool, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you. But you must have known I was not a great fool, you would have counted on it, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me.
You've made your decision then?
Not remotely! Because iocane comes from Australia, as everyone knows. And Australia is entirely peopled with criminals, and criminals are used to having people not trust them, as you are not trusted by me. So I can clearlyl not choose the wine in front of you.
Truly you have a dizzying intellect.
Wait till I get going! Where was I?
Australia.
Yes, Australia. And you must have suspected I would have known the powder's origin, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me.
You're just stalling now.
You'd like to think that, now wouldn't you? - Vizzini, Man in Black (1.24Mb)
Same in mp3 format (691kb)

You've beaten my giant, which means you're exceptionally strong; so you could have put the poison in your own goblet, trusting your strength to save you; so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you. But, you've also bested my Spaniard, which means you must have studied, and in studying, you must have learned that man is mortal, so you would have put the poison as far away from yourself as possible; so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me.
You're trying to trick me into giving something away; it won't work.
It has worked! You've given everything away! I know where the poison is!
Then make your choice.
I will! And I choose....what in the world can that be!? - Vizzini, Man in Black (741kb)

Vizzini laughing
What's so funny?
Oh, I'll tell you in a minute. First, let's drink; me from my glass, and you from yours. - Vizzini, Man in Black (231kb)

You guessed wrong. - Man in Black (22kb)

You only think I guessed wrong, that's what's so funny! I switched glasses when your back was turned - ha ha! - you fool! You fell victim to one of the classic blunders, the most famous is never get involved in a land war in Asia; but only slightly less well known is this: never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line! Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha-- thunk - Vizzini (596kb)
Same in mp3 format (325kb)

It does not matter where you take me, there is no greater hunter than Prince Humperdink. He can track a falcon on a cloudy day; he can find you. - Buttercup (156kb)

Hahahahahaha. - Man in Black (43kb)

You think your dearest love will save you?
I never said he was my dearest love; and yes, he will save me, that I know. - Man in Black, Buttercup (129kb)

I have loved more deeply than a killer like yourself could ever dream. - Buttercup (86kb)

She is alive; or was, an hour ago. If she is otherwise when I find her, I shall be very put out. - Prince Humperdink (172kb)

Why loose your venom on me?
You killed my love. - Man in Black, Buttercup (92kb)

You mock my pain!
Life is pain, Highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something. - Buttercup, Man in Black (134kb)

He died well, that should please you. No bribe attempts or blubbering. He simply said 'Please. Please, I need to live'. It was the 'please' that caught my memory. I asked him what was so important for him; 'True love,' he replied. And then he spoke of a girl with surpassing beauty and faithfulness, I can only assume he meant you. You should bless me for destroying him before he found out what you really are. - Man in Black (732kb)
Same in mp3 format (398kb)

And what am I?
Faithfulness, he talked of madam, your enduring faithfulness. Now tell me truly, when you found out he was gone, did you get engaged to your Prince that same hour, or did you wait a whole week out of respect for the dead?
You mocked me once, never do it again! I died that day! - Buttercup, Man in Black (306kb)

You can die too for all I care!
Oof! Aaaas yoooou wiiiiish.
Oh, my sweet Westley, what have I done? - Buttercup, Man in Black (242kb)

Aaaas yoooou wiiiiish. - Westley (92kb)

Can you move at all? Move? You're alive! If you want, I could fly. - Westley, Buttercup (142kb)

If you want, I could fly. - Buttercup (32kb)

Death cannot stop true love....all it can do is delay it for a while. - Westley (124kb)

I will never doubt again.
There will never be a need. - Buttercup, Westley (97kb)

Oh no, no, please.
What is it? What's the matter?
They're kissing again. Do we have to hear the kissing part? - Grandson, Grandfather (193kb)

No one would surrender to the Dread Pirate Westley. - Westley (49kb)

Westley, what about the ROUS's?
Rodents Of Unusual Size? I don't think they exist.
Growl - Buttercup, Westley (188kb)

Surrender!
You mean you wish to surrender to me? Very well, I accept.
I give you full marks for bravery, don't make yourself a fool. - Humperdink, Westley (186kb)

For the last time, surrender!
Death first!
Will you promise not to hurt him?
What was that?
What was that? - Humperdink, Westley, Buttercup (166kb)

Once we're out of sight, take him back to Florin and throw him in the Pit of Despair.
I swear it will be done. - Humperdink, Count Rugen (134kb)

I thought you were dead once, and it almost destroyed me. I could not bear it if you died again, not when I could save you. - Buttercup (188kb)

We are men of action....lies do not become us. - Westley (86kb)

Where am I?
The Pit of Despair, don't even think cough, hack don't even think about trying to escape. - Westley, Albino (237kb)

Then I'm here till I die?
Till I kill you, yeah. - Westley, Albino (65kb)

My father's final words were--
Hold it, hold it. - Humperdink, Grandson (81kb)

Boo! Boo! Boo!
Why do you do this?
Because you had love in your hands, and you gave it up!
But they would have killed Westley if I hadn't done it.
Your true love lives! And you marry another. True love saved her in the Fire Swamp and she treated it like garbage; and that's what she is: the Queen of Refuse. So bow down to her if you want, bow to her, bow to the Queen of Slime, the Queen of Filth, the Queen of Putrescense. Boo! Boo! Rubbish, filth, slime, muck. Boo! Boo! Booooo! - Peasant Woman in dream, Buttercup (990kb)
Same in mp3 format (539kb)

Didn't I tell you she'd never marry that rotten Humperdink?
Yes, you're very smart. Shut up. - Grandson, Grandfather (102kb)

Are you coming down into the Pit? Westley's got his strength back, I'm starting him on The Machine tonight.
Tyrone, you know how much I love watching you work; but I've got my country's five hundredth anniversary to plan, my wedding to arrange, my wife to murder, and Guilder to frame for it - I'm swamped.
Get some rest, if you haven't got your health, you haven't got anything. - Rugen, Humperdink (581kb)

What did this do to you? Tell me. And remember, this is for posterity, so, be honest. How do you feel?
Westley sobbing
Interesting. - Rugen, Westley (315kb)

I would not say such things if I were you! - Humperdink (81kb)

Westley and I are joined by the bonds of love. And you cannot track that, not with a thousand bloodhounds; and you cannot break it, not with a thousand swords. And when I say you are a coward, that is only because you are the slimiest weakling ever to crawl the Earth! - Buttercup (389kb)

You truly love each other, and so you might have been truly happy. Not one couple in the century has that chance, no matter what the story books say. And so I think no man in this century will suffer as greatly as you will. - Humperdink (308kb)

Fezzik...listen...do you hear? That is the sound of ultimate suffering. My heart made that sound when Rugen slaughtered my father. The Man in Black makes it now.
The Man in Black?
His true love is marrying another tonight, so who else has the cause for ultimate suffering? - Inigo, Fezzik (357kb)

Fezzik, please?
Everybody mooooove!
Thank you. - Inigo, Fezzik (102kb)

Fezzik, jog his memory. thunk - Inigo (95kb)

Sorry, Inigo, I didn't mean to jog him so hard. - Fezzik (59kb)

The King's stinking son fired me. And thank you so much for bringing up such a painful subject. While you're at it, why don't you give me a nice papercut and pour lemon juice on it? We're closed! - Miracle Max (205kb)

Beat it, or I'll call the Brute Squad.
I'm on the Brute Squad.
You are the Brute Squad. - Max, Fezzik (92kb)

Look, I'm retired. And besides, why would you want someone the King's stinking son fired? I might kill whoever you want to make the miracle.
He's already dead.
He is, huh? I'll take a look; bring him in. - Max, Inigo (247kb)

Sir?
Huh?
We're in a terrible rush.
Don't rush me sonny, you rush a miracle, you get rotten miracles. - Inigo, Max (145kb)

Sheesh! I never work for so little. Except once, and that was a very noble cause. - Max (110kb)

Ooooh, ooh, ooh! Look who knows so much, huh! Well it just so happens that your friend here is only mostly dead...there's a big difference between mostly dead and all dead. - Max (236kb)

Hey! Hello in there! Hey, what's so important? What's you got here that's worth living for?
Truuuuee loooove.
True love, you heard him, you could not ask for a more noble cause that that.
Yes, sonny, true love is the greatest thing in the world. Except for a nice M.L.T. - mutton, lettuce, and tomato sandwich - when the mutton is nice and lean and the tomato's ripe...phtphtpht...they're so perky, I love that. But that's not what he said, he distinctly said "to blaaave", and as we all know to blave means "to bluff". Huh? So you were probably playing cards and he cheated. - Max, Westley, Inigo (910kb)
Same in mp3 format (495kb)

Except for a nice M.L.T. - mutton, lettuce, and tomato sandwich - when the mutton is nice and lean and the tomato's ripe...phtphtpht...they're so perky, I love that. - Max (179kb)

Liar! Liar! Liaaaar!
Get back witch!
I'm not a witch, I'm your wife! But after what you just said I'm not even sure I want to be that anymore!
You never had it so good. - Valerie, Max (227kb)

True love. He said true love, Max.
Don't say another word, Valerie!
He's afraid. Ever since Prince Humperdink fired him, his confidence is shattered.
Why'd you say that name? You promised me that you'd never say that name! - Valerie, Max (229kb)

What? Humperdink?
Aagghh!
Humperdink. Humperdink. Humperdink. Humperdiiiiink. Humperdink. Humperdink. Humperdink. Humperdink.
I'm not listening! - Valerie, Max (156kb)

This is Buttercup's true love. If you heal him, he will stop Humperdink's wedding.
[to Valerie] Shut up.
I make him better, Humperdink suffers?
Humiliations galore. - Inigo, Max (237kb)

That is a noble cause. Gimme the sixty-five, I'm on the job.
Hoohoo! -Max, Valerie (81kb)

That's a miracle pill? Chocolate coating makes it go down easier. - Inigo, Valerie (97kb)

Bye, bye boys!
Have fun stormin' the castle!
Think it'll work?
It would take a miracle,
Bye bye!! - Valerie, Max (155kb)

You've been mostly dead all day. - Fezzik (32kb)

Let me 'splain...no, there is too much. Le' me sum up. Buttercup is marry Humperdink in leettle less than half an hour. All we have to do is get in, break up the wedding, steal the princess, and make our escape. After I kill Count Rugen. - Inigo (263kb)

My brains, his steel, and your strength against sixty men, and you think a little head jiggle is supposed to make me happy? Hmmm? - Westley (165kb)

Inigo.
What?
I hope we win. - Fezzik, Inigo (70kb)

Mawwaige. Mawwaige is what bwings us togetha, today. Mawwaige, that bwessed awaingement. That dweam within a dweam. - Clergyman (362kb)

Stand your ground! - (27kb)

And wove, twue wove, will fowwow you fo'ever. - Clergyman (196kb)

Your Westley is dead; I killed him myself.
Then why is there fear behind your eyes? - Humperdink, Buttercup (123kb)

Give us the gate key.
I have no gate key.
Fezzik, tear his arms off.
Oh, you mean this gate key. - Westley, Yellin, Inigo (168kb)

Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya, you killed my father, prepare to die. - (183kb)

She kissed me! - King (27kb)

There's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world...'twould be a pity to damage yours. - Westley (97kb)

Westley! Oh, Westley, darling! .... Westley, why won't you hold me?
Gently.
At a time like this, that's all you can think to say? Gently?
Gently! thunk Uuumpf. - Buttercup, Westley (371kb)

Good heavens, are you still trying to win? - Rugen (70kb)

Hello! My name is Inigo Montoya, you killed father, prepare to die!
Stop saying that!
Hello!! My name is Inigo Montoya, you killed my father, prepare to die! Offer me money.
Yes.
Power too. Promise me that.
All that I have and more. Please.
Offer me everything I ask for.
Anything you want.
I want my father back you son of a bitch. - Inigo, Rugen (942kb)
Same in mp3 format (512kb)

A technicality that will shortly be remedied. - Humperdink (65kb)

No! To the pain.
I don't think I'm quite familiar with that phrase.
I'll explain, and I'll use small words so that you'll be sure to understand, you warthog-faced buffoon.
That may be the first time in my life a man has dared insult me.
It won't be the last. To the pain means the first thing you lose will be your feet below the ankles, then your hands at the wrists, next, your nose.
And then my tongue next I suppose. I killed you too quickly the last time. A mistake I don't mean to duplicate tonight.
I wasn't finished! The next thing you lose will be your left eye, followed by your right.
And then my ears, I understand. Let's get on with it.
Wrong! Your ears you keep, and I'll tell you why. So that every shriek of every child at seeing your hideousness will be yours to cherish. Every babe that weeps at your approach; every woman who cries out "Dear God, what is that thing?" will echo in your perfect ears. That is what to the pain means. It means I leave you in anguish; wallowing in freakish misery forever.
I think you're bluffing.
It's possible, pig. I might be bluffing. It's conceivable, you miserable, vomitous mass. I'm only lying here because I lack the strength to stand. Then again, perhaps I have the strength after all. - Westley, Humperdink (2Mb)
Same in mp3 format (1Mb)

Drop...your...sword. - Westley (75kb)

I knew it! I knew you were bluffing! I knew he was bluffing. - Humperdink (54kb)

Hello, lady! - Fezzik (27kb)

Since the invention of the kiss, there have been five kisses that were rated the most passionate, the most pure...this one left them all behind. - Grandfather (207kb)

Links:

The Princess Bride - pictures, sounds, even a quiz!
The Princess Bride - The Good Parts Website
Internet Movie Database listing